Lessons on Christmas Night
Many would consider that working in a hospital when the whole country is celebrating the birthday of Jesus Christ to be an unselfish act of service. Initially, I thought it was unfair that I had to work while everyone else was in the height of the season. However, knowing well that I had a responsibility to uphold, I set aside any angst I had and decided to make the best of it.
While, I was on the Internet, I suddenly heard a vehicle rushing towards the entrance of the ER. Thinking it was just another patient who had eaten more than he could handle, I calmly left my quarters towards the ER. The sight of a blood trail leading to the treatment room had me hastening my pace.
There before me stood a robust man in his 30’s wincing in pain and holding the left upper quadrant of his abdomen with his right hand as if he was covering something. His clothes were soaked with blood, which I automatically assumed was his.
He looked up at me still clinching his abdomen and said to me, “Doc, I’ve been stabbed!”
Without hesitating, I immediately ordered the nurses to run an IV line and I personally helped the poor man lie on the examination table so I could see where he had been stabbed.
Upon inspection, part of his colon was peeking out of a wound that was about eleven centimeters long. It was not bleeding profusely and his vital signs were stable but he was in a lot of pain (I could only imagine the pain) so I ordered a shot of painkillers via IV to help take the edge off.
During this time, he kept on asking me whether he was going to die and I answered with conviction “not on my watch!”
I then called for an ambulance and within minutes the patient was on his to a tertiary facility where they were better equipped to take care of him. It wasn’t the wounds that had me thinking the whole night but the circumstances behind the whole incident.
According to the patient whose name was Boy (Not his real name), he was walking along when he came across a brawl. Seeing that a friend of his was involved he stepped in to try to break it up and that’s when he got stabbed. Whether intentionally or not, I would never know as Boy died despite valiant efforts by surgeons to save his life.
What had me troubled was why would a man with good intentions suddenly befall such a grim fate? Is there really a benevolent God who would allow such a tragedy to happen to such a good man (according to the people who knew him, Boy was a very good and gentle mannered person)?
The worst part about all of this is that Boy’s wife had just given birth in another province and he was due to leave the next morning to see her and their new baby girl. It’s heartbreaking to think that Boy never got to see his newly born daughter or held her in his hand while staring at her cute and comely face.
The questions about why this would happen to a good person at a time like this troubled me for days. Some people tell me it’s just Boy’s time to go in the same way that anyone could get hit by a car while crossing the street. Some say that evil prevails and that’s just it.
It came to a point of time that I began to think “doing good for others gets you into trouble”. At this thought, I began to question every good deed I have ever done or am doing. Would my good deeds lead me to a fate like his? Would helping others be more detrimental than beneficial to me?
Admittedly, at some point in time I actually began to doubt if there really was justice in this world and if you look at every facet of life, you will see it really isn’t fair at all. For example, why are some people better looking than others? Why are some people, who have potential, handicapped while others who are normal never seem to be thankful about it?
The problem with many of us is that we all have our own standards for what we deem to be just and unjust. For example, some people say “Why does he drive a Porsche and all I can afford to drive is a beat up old car?” My reflection there is be thankful you are still driving something while 80% of the population has to make do with public transportation.
Some people complain about the food they eat, not thinking that more than 70% of the population is living below the poverty line and they are thankful to even eat at all. We always seem to find fault in our own lives and wish for a better one not knowing that there is someone less fortunate than us wishing that they were living our lives.
Some people tell me they wish they were dead and all they have are emotional problems that have solutions but others like Boy, who have the whole world waiting for them, are gone before their time.
Although I had a million thoughts running through my mind, I did resolve the ambiguity I felt over my own situation. I resolved to myself that justice is actually a state of mind. If I learn to be content, then everything will seem fair. Everything happens in this world for a reason and these reasons are not made obvious to us at first but are revealed in due time. We may not understand everything but any existence whether good or evil has a purpose.
As for doing good, I came to a realization that people who truly do good things do them not for personal gain, or safety as in Boy’s case. No matter how evil some people may be, I truly believe that each and every one of us was born with some good inside of us. The good in us acts instinctively without question or cause. Many of us act with benevolence without much thought or sometimes without regard for our own well-being.
In the past year I have done nothing but lament the things I didn’t have and complaining about how my life was incomplete. I spent months in depression over a person I loved but didn’t treat me right. My journey in the last year was trying to fill up what I felt was a void in my life not realizing that my life is already complete from the start. Nothing is perfect and perfection is just a state of mind.
To top it off, a special person in my life said this to me just a few hours ago, “If ever you feel like your life is missing something, think about the people you have helped because you have given them so much more and in turn have made their lives complete.”
I now enter a new era of my life being thankful for what I have and evermore so eager to continue being of service to those who need my help.
My condolences go out to the family Boy left behind but I am forever grateful to him for the realizations his situation had shown me. This is one patient I will remember for the rest of my life.
Till next time :)
NOTE: This Article was written more than 5 years ago on a previous blog of mine and has been reposted on this blog site.
