Beating the Odds: Being Stronger than Your Limitations
Sometimes, we are faced with situations that may seem to be futile or hopeless. Around the last few months of a medical student’s year, there is that feeling of “impending doom” especially if one or two subjects are falling short of passing.
The fear of failure is enough to either make anyone think of throwing in their towels or fighting to the very end. The prospect of having to repeat a subject or two for a whole year or in another school never leaves a good thought in anyone’s mind.
However, despite how drastic your current situation is and how you are wishing for a miracle at this very moment, it is never hopeless. I know all too well that my mishaps in medical school were the result of my own undoing but still I know that feeling that failure is inevitable. It is never easy!
The worst episode of that feeling of failure was when I was reviewing for the Physician Licensure Examination. I enrolled in a Review Program because I had been away for many years from medicine (I was in the Corporate Industry and an Overseas Worker so all my medical knowledge was gone) and I also did not pass the exam the first time I took it. So there I was sitting in review classes with fresh medical graduates and feeling more clueless than anyone in that room.
During review, you have about a couple of months to study information that supposedly was covered in four years of medical school. It was a literal nosebleed and showed me that I had not learned anything in medical school (hahaha). Many nights I just stared aimlessly at my handouts and notes bewildered at all the information I needed to cram into my brain in a short period of time.
No matter how hard I tried to understand and memorize this endless stream of information, nothing was happening. I thought to myself; this was useless. What is the point of all of this??? With the stress of attending review lectures in the day and studying at night (funny because it was something I was never really accustomed to in medical school), it all took its toll on me. I snapped! Literally!
I threw my notes to the ground and started my tantrums. For minutes, I screamed, stomped and keep saying, “F#%k this sh*t! That’s it! It’s over! I am not doing this anymore!!!”
As I fervently declared my wish to throw in my towel and return to a comfortable and well-paying corporate job, I looked down onto the street and saw someone who would make me very ashamed of my stupid child-like tantrums.
That person was Dr. Emmanuel Bautista. Dr. Bautista or “Tatang Emman” as many of us fondly called him is a 64-year-old medical graduate who started studying medicine later in life to fulfill a life-long dream. He unselfishly worked hard to ensure that his children finished their respective degrees before jumping in to fulfill his own dreams.
Not to make this entry longer than it should be but medical school was no walk in the park for Tatang. There were subjects he failed and had to take again. He eventually had to transfer to another medical school due to amassing a whole lot of subject failures. Even clerkship and internship was not easy for him. His batch mates were younger and had greater endurance. He had a tough time keeping up with everyone.
His troubles didn’t stop there. He even had to the take the Board Exams four times before passing. One could say that his age was against him since he also did have the common ailments that plague people of the same age. He was hypertensive and diabetic. I also noticed that he had a very short memory and attention span that is something that can really pull him down especially since the Board Exams are highly academic in nature.
Here are some things I noticed about Dr. Bautista that really astounded me:
He has “Super-Human” determination. Nothing will stop him from going for his dreams. He is the embodiment of the saying by Winston Churchill that “Success consists of going from Failure to Failure without loss of Enthusiasm”.
He accepts his limitations but does not let it deter him from doing what must be done.
His tenacity was unbreakable. If the review program really took its toll on me both physically and emotionally, I could only imagine the impact of this on him but still he stood up to fight another day, each and every day.
He was never afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Tatang acknowledged his weaknesses and knew that asking others to help him was the best thing to do in that situation. The truth is that we climb faster and more efficiently when we have others helping us up.
He shows gratitude to everyone willing to help him on his journey. Tatang showed his gratitude for the times I helped him study by recommending me as a professor at our alma mater (yes, he and I graduated from the same medical school). I owe him a lot for that.
He had impeccable discipline. Tatang was always early for our review classes and even sat in front of the lecturer. His notes and books were always well organized.
He had unshakable passion. With the failures he encountered from Medical School all the way to the Board Exams, it should have been enough for him to just quit but his passion to become a doctor was what fueled him to soldier on while others were telling him to rethink his situation. After all he should be resting at home instead of striving to earn a Medical License at his age.
He was optimistic and had an excellent sense of humor. No matter how stressing the situation, Tatang had this habit of making jokes at his own expense. He never insulted anyone else just for the sake of humor.
He knows how to brush failure aside and just keeps going. His drive to succeed is almost unsurpassable. He actually reminds me of how zombies even when shot many times will still rush towards their victim as if it was nothing. (Sorry for that graphic analogy hahaha)
Despite having a short memory span, he compensates this with his maturity. Tatang never gets tired of repeating information over and over again until he gets it! He is a mature learner who knows that repetition is an important key to learning.
Despite his “super-human” determination, Tatang is still like most of us. He had his fears and worries. Sometimes it was so bad that it paralyzed him. I have seen him cry in frustration as many of us would too.
I recall that he once shed tears after the Board Exams because he was unsure of most of his answers. All I could do was to commend him for fighting to the end and assure him that things will work out.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be” was all I could say. I doubted if that was helpful at all.
He then nodded, thanked me and wiped his tears. A minute later, he was at the videoke machine singing Whitney Houston’s “One Moment in Time”. Apparently it’s his favorite song. Go figure!
A few days later the results came out and the rest is history. Tatang Emman made it and became a licensed physician! He broke all barriers and beat the odds giving hope to thousands of others like him who are in despair. Personally, I am just glad that the excitement of passing the exams didn’t cause him to have a Myocardial Infarction. (Hahaha just kidding!)
I am writing this to show my gratitude to Dr. Emmanuel “Tatang” Bautista. I may have helped him study during the boards but he helped me with a lot more than that. He showed me that limitations are only in our mind.
Tatang, unknowingly, helped me overcome my own fears and limitations. No matter how high you have climbed, the fear of falling is still there. That fear should not paralyze us or keep us from reaching our objectives. Our determination to succeed should be much greater than our fear of failure.
Despite the odds against you if you have to iron will and determination to reach your dreams, you will. Tatang did. So can you!
Watch Dr. Emmanuel Bautista’s story here.
Till next post – Doc France
