Faith and Miracles
There was a time I recall ever so vividly when I felt that it was the end of the road for me in medical school. I was a first year medical student, who spent most of the year hanging out with friends, partying and cramming for tests and exams. This did not help my grades at all.
It was now finals period and all of my grades were way below passing. The only chance I had left to save my future medical career was to at least make the minimum grade for removal examinations. At the time that many of my diligent classmates were already in the clear, I was now burdened by reaching grades that seemed almost impossible at that point. I knew that if I didn’t make it everything would be over.
I would be forced to consider another career or find a job. Honestly, at that time I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to be a doctor but it was better than nothing, so it would seem. As I struggled to catch up to a whole year’s worth of information, I felt helpless and overwhelmed. I had been so complacent not knowing that all the things I needed to learn had all piled up to the point I could no longer manage it.
It seemed absolutely hopeless! Part of me wanted to accept the inevitable. That was medicine is not really for me. However, another part of me didn’t want to let go. Feeling dejected and depressed, I went home to my parents to warn them of my impending failure in medical school. Since they were the ones paying for it, it was the right thing to do.
My mother listened empathically as I told her what had happened and how I was to blame for it. I could sense some disappointment in her as I enumerated my story. Then something unexpected happened. As I told her that I was going to get kicked out of medical school if I fail so many subjects, I started crying. I wailed loudly saying that I didn’t want to leave medical school. I remember saying, “Only a miracle can save me now!”
Being a devoted Christian, my mother told me that we should pray. Honestly, I was never really a prayerful person during those times. Since I was asking for a miracle then prayer it is. Even in prayer, tears from my eyes fell like a waterfall. My mother prayed for me and asked God to help me if it was His will for me to become a doctor and I eagerly asked for a miracle to help save my medical education.
I still had my doubts afterwards. My situation was really just that bad. Fast forward a few weeks and the final grades were out. I did not pass a single subject but I made it to removals. I was now set to remove every single subject in medical school and that was ten subjects in total!
What made matters worst was that everyone (including students in the upper years) was telling me that no one has ever passed the removal examination for all ten subjects. It was expected that I would fail one or two removal exams.
I thought to myself, failing one or two subjects would not get me kicked out and maybe I should accept it that I am destined to fail. I was never the type of person to give up just like that but it seemed that I needed another miracle.
This time I prayed alone and asked God these things:
To help me pass all TEN subjects if it really was His will for me to be a doctor.
To help me surpass the expectations of everyone around me.
If becoming a doctor was not His will then He should guide me in what His will for me was.
To help me accept it if I did not pass all my exams.
As most of my classmates started going on holiday, there I was studying for the exams that would change my life. These exams would ultimately define what direction my life would take in the next few years.
I knew it was impossible to cover everything but having asked God for His will in the matter I did feel some relief and less frustration.
Fast forward again and all the removal exams were done. How was it? I was unsure of almost every answer I chose. The Biochemistry removal exam was so difficult that one of my classmates actually forfeited taking the exam and opted to just repeat the subject. She gave up!
I held on to my hope for miracle until the very end. In our medical school, removal exam scores were not posted on bulletin boards. You had to go the Registrar’s office to get a Grade Sheet that will enumerate all exam scores.
As the Registrar handed me my Grade Sheet, I did feel an overwhelming sense of calm for the first time. Why? It’s because I have left everything to faith in God’s will for me. That piece of paper would tell me what His will was.
As I opened it, I skipped looking at the grades and went straight to the “Remarks” section. It read “Promoted to Second Year”. I stared at those words in utter disbelief for about a minute.
The Registrar smiled at me and said, “You are the first student to pass all ten removal exams. You are a miracle boy!”
I laughed, thanked him and left. The only other time I felt such great elation was years after that moment when I passed the Medical Board Exam. So, miracles do exist and my situation taught me a lot about how it works.
1. Miracles can happen every day. Just us waking up from slumber and breathing is a miracle. The way our bodies work and its complexities are miracles too. Life is a miracle and we witness it on a daily basis.
2. There is a Higher Power, whether you choose to believe it or not! Nothing is impossible to this Higher Power. “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27)
3. Faith and Miracles go hand in hand. You cannot have miracles if you don’t believe it will happen. “Everything is possible for one who believes” (Mark 9:23)
4. A miracle will happen if it is the will of God. He has plans for all of us and it’s all good. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
5. Miracles are not “magical powers” that exist to get us out of trouble. It is a manifestation of the power of God and His will. Failing does not mean that miracles do not exist. It may just mean that God may want you to reconsider the path you are taking.
6. Asking for a Miracle is not a bad thing. Remember that God is always listening and will answer all prayers in His time. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will opened to you” (Matthew 7:7)
7. Miracles do not happen spontaneously. They occur at the right place and the right time. We should have both faith and patience when waiting for our miracles.
8. Miracles are not supernatural random events. They exist to show us there is a power greater than what science can explain. They exist to set us on the right path and to help strengthen our faith.
Many of you reading this now may be surprised how spiritual this entry is as compared to most of my posts that tend to be more practical and pragmatic.
At any stage in life we should always remember that we are composed of three components; Mind, Body and Soul. This is fundamental to our existence as human beings.
If you are feeling hopeless always remember that nothing is ever really hopeless. If you are looking down in depression, I urge you to look up for inspiration. “Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9)
On more than one occasion, God has made His will known to me. There were times I tried to sway away from it (that's another story for another time) but He always seems to be able to set me back on the path He has set for me.
I know for a fact that without God, I would have never made it through medical school. It was His will for me to become a doctor and be an instrument of healing. Every day as I treat patients, I am in awe at the miracles I see in my patients. It truly is God's power in action.
Remember that Miracles happen to show us that God is here and with us. Ask for your miracle and wait for it to be given to you.
I wish you great courage and strength in all of life’s battles ahead.
The Lord is with us always. God bless you.
Till next post – Doc France
